“I felt like a million bricks had fallen in on top of me,” he says. “The first thought I had was that I was losing everything – I was losing my parents, friends and family. It wasn’t so much I was dying but what worried me was that I was losing everything”.
Shelly and David arrived from Lismore. Shelly kissed Mick and started to cry, with Mick saying, “Hey! Shell, we’ve got to be brave, you will be all right”. Shelly answered “I’ve got my money on you, Mick. You are going to help us”.
Truer words were never spoken. It was only the beginning.
He looked right at me and said, “I hope it doesn’t ruin you, Mum, for the rest of your life. I don’t want you wearing dark glasses to hide your eyes or that, I just hope and pray it doesn’t affect you terribly”. Then he added, “How do you think you will be?” …. I tried to be careful what I said. He seemed to be hanging on every word. “I have no idea, Mick, how I will be”.
But I wanted to scream, … “I don’t want you to die. I am not happy or calm with the idea of losing you.
Michael spoke to us about how he wanted to die at home in the place he loved, if we were happy with the idea. We told him whatever was his wish, was ours also. He then talked to Chris and Peter and told them that he would be happy to die at home, but if they had any doubts about it at all, he wanted them to tell him. “I don’t want you to be frightened of my room after I die. If you think this is going to worry you, tell me, and if you would rather me die in the hospital – I will die in the hospital. Whatever you boys would rather I do, I’ll do”.